"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world." --CS Lewis
Next time I am unable to lose myself in the moment; next time I am anxiously dissatisfied and I cannot understand why; next time a subtlety reminds me of something familiar and sublime that I never actually knew--I will stop. I will remember that, though I am called to this time and place, this is not the world for which I was made. The insatiable yearning tugging at my soul, a gut-feeling of longing that cannot be shaken, it is beckoning me home, hinting that, here, I am a foreigner. I am transient. I was created for something else.
I will relish the glimpses. The moments when my nakedness does not feel shameful; and my heart feels indescribably at peace; and my mind only is, not jumping forward or wandering back. These are instances of desire turned realization. The day will come when I can bask in the plush green of Eden, surrounded by the songs of birds I've never heard of and smells I've never before inhaled--but I will know them. The day will come when I can lie on my back in velvet grass, the breeze blowing over my body and the sound of rushing, living water beyond--and it will comfort me. The day will come when I will no longer hate my ruined soul but will instead be at total rest.
One day I will return to the home I was made for, to the place being prepared for me.